Friday, May 12, 2017

Journeys

Isn't it amazing how quickly life changes.  You are on a path, and suddenly something happens and that path is blocked or ends, and there is a fork in that road, and you have to choose the next path.   I am beginning to look at life as a series of journeys.  Once again my path has changed and a new journey begins. 

It is with a heavy heart that I must say that the aunt passed away peacefully in her sleep Wednesday morning.  I had brought her home the Friday before with the help of Hospice.  She was on a 2 hour medication schedule, so I would set my phone timer, and every 2 hours I would get up ( I slept in a recliner next to her hospital bed), give her a dose of medication, many times I would wake up every hour and I would swab her mouth to keep it moist, even though she had quit drinking.  I am grateful for the opportunity to grant her final wish, which was to die in the home she was born in.  The aunt passed just before her 4 am medication dose, with me by her side.  I know she passed knowing she was very loved, and cared for.  

Gifts:

Jeff was not much of a gift giver, he actually became anxious trying come up with a gift, even though I truly appreciated anything he ever gave me whether it was something from the garbage pit at work, a dozen roses, or a gift he came up with on his own and made me. He used to joke about the beginning of the year being a triple threat to his manhood.  Our anniversary, followed by Valentine's Day, then my Birthday.   On our anniversary this year he was very upset.  He had an idea of what he wanted to purchase, but when he started looking he could not locate the item.  

A couple of days after our anniversary he told me, that he wanted to buy a lawn spinner for me, since he knew I loved some artsy ones that I had seen at the local feed store.   The feed store had told him they would be in soon, so when they came in I needed to go purchase the one I wanted he told me.  

A couple of days after Jeff died, I had to go into the local feed store to get some chicken feed, and all of the lawn ornaments, and spinners were up.  I grabbed my phone. and was ready to text Jeff when I realized he was gone and would never receive my text.  I left the feed store, holding it together until my chicken feed was loaded and sobbed on my drive home.  My most recent trip to the feed store I decided that I would go ahead and purchase the spinner I wanted.

I have a Singer 301A long bed that I love to sew on almost as much as I love sewing on my featherweight.  The problem is that it did not have a base and made me kind of crazy.  I had seen a custom base on Facebook, and the man had an Etsy shop.  I had looked at them many times, but didn't see one that really struck my fancy until just a couple of days before my birthday.  I showed Jeff and he told me buy it, and Happy Birthday my love.  

I had been so busy the past few weeks that I didn't realize that it had arrived.  I looked at the shipping receipt today, and saw that it had been delivered on April 20.  I started looking and realized that I had a box that I thought was a new locking mechanism that I had to order for Jeff's work tool box because I could not locate the keys.  It was not the mechanism, it was my sewing machine base. 

To say that tears flowed upon opening it, would be an understatement.  I will say that this photo does not do it justice, but I just wanted to share it. 

I had lots of errands today.  One of them was to order a funeral spray, and a couple of small arrangements for the cemetery, since  I am having an small internment ceremony Friday, May 19, 2017.  The Ancient Uncle, Ancient Aunt and their son will be finally laid to rest in their cemetery plots that they have owned for years.  At the little local florist, I saw a wonderful garden marker and had to purchase it.  I think it is a great expression of Jeff's life.  I have this in my side garden where I will finish up a fountain, place a bench for a place to sit to meditate and pray.

After running to the local greenhouse, I had a package waiting for me.  Thank you so much for the lovely book Nancy of Pug Mom Quilts.  

I am finishing up a couple of books currently, but I am thinking that this will bring a smile to my heart. 

 I have been doing a little sewing. 
A pile of 1 1/2 inch HST to be trimmed up.
The few I have trimmed, and a few of my tumblers which I have been doing as leader and enders. 

Finally the great unveil.  I showed a pile of boxes a few days ago on my blog.  Well this is what I bought.

This is a sit down machine.  I have it put together, but I haven't played much with it.  Maybe in the next couple of days between doing some gardening, and other little home improvements.  It came with a stitch regulator, a bobbin winder, and another sewing machine, a small HQ 210.  It is a nice little machine, with some nice little bells and whistles that I don't have on my antique machines.  It may be my "travel" machine since I have gotten brave and signed up to take a class at a local quilt shop. 

My new journey is a bit daunting.  I have almost always had a spouse, or kids to care for, a job, or the ancient ones.  Now the only one I truly have to care for is Lucy, the Ancient Ones cat, and myself.   

Here you can see her helping me with my computer and blog reading.  It is strange knowing I have no real responsibilities anymore, no days filled with laundry, cooking, dishes.  No days trying to figure out when I can chisel out some time for sewing, or even to get a shower.  No trying to figure out what to have for dinner, that everyone will eat. 

The Road Not Taken

Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.










10 comments:

Missy Shay said...

Somehow I pictured Lucy as a grey cat. A new machine is always fun and I love your spinner. I've been wanting one too! Maybe you could find a part time job or a volunteer opportunity to keep yourself busy. Your little spot in the garden sounds like it will be very peaceful.

sewyouquilt2 said...

love your new gifts. your garden spot sounds relaxing and peaceful. Poor Lucy doesnt know what to do. Both her Mama and Papa are gone. she is lucky to have you to give her some TLC. cant wait to see more of your Tee quilt and what you make with your new toy!

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

Your commentary on the Ancient Aunt's passing brought back thoughts of my FIL's passing last August which was very similar. You are going to cry a river more of tears for your husband. It's all part of the grieving process so just let it happen. Somehow the tears eventually mute the pain.

You have a lot of time to do things you won't really want to do, but do them just the same. Somehow you will fall into a new pattern. That is when you will know your next journey path has begun. A job? not yet. You will know if and when it's part of the new journey. Just don' sit around and wonder what this world is all about. You'll never figure THAT one out.
Much Love
Carol

Cheryl's Teapots2Quilting said...

I've been thinking of you this week. Glad the AA's passing wasn't difficult. I know this new path will be different. Being alone is fine, for a while, but, you'll find new things to add to your life. Keep taking it one day at a time. Maybe you need a visitor.....

Needled Mom said...

I've been thinking about you this week too. I'm sure the AA was pleased to have been at home with you caring for her. I know your days must feel very different suddenly. You have had such a hard few months.

I will be watching what you create with the new machines and time.

I think the quiet area will be a special place for you. Glad you are going to create it.

Julierose said...

your gifts are lovely; I like your garden spinner colors a lot. And I think
your new machine will take you on a new journey of discovery...
hugs, Julierose

krislovesfabric said...

It looks like you did a good job with the assembly on the HQ, hope you find it stitches easily and wonderfully! Your spinner and memorial stone are both beautiful. And that looks like a nice sturdy base for your old machine. Hope you are feeling well today.

Lesley said...

Sending hugs and thinking of you. So glad that you got yourself a new machine...I'm sure you will love it! Take care of yourself!

Mama Spark said...

This post made me happy and sad at the same time. So many mixed emotions you must be having also. The spinner, and marker are wonderful! I would have cried too. I LOVE the machine base, would you share where you got it? I am in need of one also and this one is gorgeous!! Great fun having a new machine. I hope it sews well for you. Hang in there my friend!

Carol S. said...

I love your spinner and I'm so glad you bought it as yet another reminder of your sweet Jeff. I see that Sweet 16 you now have...that's on my wish list. So fun! I think about you often. xo