Friday, March 10, 2017

Saying Goodbye

Wednesday the love of my life, my best friend, my better half was tragically taken from me in a car accident, right down the street at the corner.  As I wheeled my garbage can out to the street today, I could see the light, and as the sun rises it reminds me of him and the moment that he was lost to me. 

The morning he died, he kissed me passionately but tenderly.  I told him goodbye, have a good day at work and I love you.  He told me he loved me, and he couldn't wait to get back home.  He went out fed the chickens and jumped into our junker Chevrolet Cavalier, and left.  Just a few minutes later all the sirens, started going off, I looked up and thought I hope Jeff made it past the accident.  My daughter called about 15 minutes later, where is Dad?  I told her he left for work.  Her boyfriend thought that the accident at the corner was Jeff.  I said no he should have been well past that before it happened.  She kept calling him and calling, no answer. I told her he won't pick up while he is driving, he was careful like that.  I texted him.  I knew he would answer me by 7:30am.  At 7:35 no answer, I jumped into the car and drove down the light.  What I saw took my breath away.  I collapsed on the ground crying, asking where they had taken him.  When the State Patrolman told me he had died instantly, a part of me died.

Slow down, you are never in that much of a hurry.  The man that hit my husband blew through the stoplight at the intersection, they think he may have been going well over the speed limit when it happened.  Many cars were stopped at that time, there is video of it happening at the local business, so many people called the state police to report the accident and act as witnesses the officer told me he was having trouble handling all of the calls.  Put the cell phone down, pay attention to what is going on around you.  I have to go through that intersection almost every time I leave the house.  To drive through it and not see any skid marks makes my heart lurch. 

While the true meaning of this song is totally different I am holding it in my heart.

I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there

We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
Oh I'm already

Right now it gives me comfort during this time.  It reminds me he is all around me, even though he is not physically with me anymore.


Carol- Beads and Birds said...

I'm so sorry. They always say that your are in more danger of having an accident close to home. I live 3 houses off a small connecting highway, 1/2 mile between the lights at each larger highway. We have had 4 accidents at those lights, none of them our fault and totaled two cars. Who knows why drivers become distracted. Nothing can soothe your broken heart. I can't imagine the pain you feel. I'm praying that you find solace in your family, friends and faith.
xx, Carol

Cathy said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in prayers. Hugs

krislovesfabric said...

There are just no words that feel adequate, my friend -but we mourn with you and send our love and prayers to you and your family. May there be peace in His promise that life is everlasting.

Missy Shay said...

You have been on my mind everyday, if there is anything I can do for you please let me know.

Lesley said...

Sending you so many hugs, prayers, and condolences for you and your family. All our hearts are breaking for you...

QuiltSue said...

I can't imagine what you are going through, but I am so sorry.

barbara woods said...

love you , so sorry this happened. wish i could send you back to Tuesday

Ioleen Kimmel said...

So very sorry for your loss. Prayers and hugs are with you.

Needled Mom said...

There are truly no words. Please know that I am holding you close in prayers.

Anna said...

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. Your love for him shone through every time you wrote about him. I am so very sorry.

Rebecca in AK said...

Dear Colette, my heart just broke for you as I read this. The shock, the pain, the devastation of losing someone you love, there are just no words. Jeff sounded like such a awesome guy, he was always bringing home treasures for you. You are heavy on my heart and I am praying.

sewyouquilt2 said...

so so sorry Colette. I pray for peace and comfort for the days ahead. if you need a shoulder you know where I am. love ya girl. take care of yourself please <3

Baa. xxx said...

Dear Colette, we are so upset to hear this news. So sorry, we know what a treasure your husband was and all the things you did together. Devastating. We are praying for you and your family, peace and love and comfort.

Cheryl's Teapots2Quilting said...

As you were writing this post, I was headed to another funeral. I'm always fussing at my hubby to not text while he is behind the wheel. I was thinking of you and your husband during the funeral this morning. Know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

Renee said...

Words feel entirely inadequate. I am so very sorry for your loss and am sending huge hugs and prayers your way.

jan said...

I am so so very sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs. xo jan

Raewyn said...

SO very sad to read this tragic post; I"ve only known you in blogland for a very short time but still want to send you my love and hugs. I hope the good times and memories you've had help you and your family to get through this very tough time.

Cathy said...

I am so sad for your loss. I`m sending you a long distance hug and many prayers.

Valerie Reynolds said...

My eyes are filled with tears as I stop by to read your post. Words can not express your loss...but I hope you find a small comfort in knowing love and hugs and prayers are being sent your way. V

Mama Spark said...

OMG I am so sorry. I did not know or I would have stopped by for the memorial too. I don't even know how you can put one foot in front of the other, sweetie. I will include you and your family in my prayers and if you ever need me I am here.